SCRIPTURE: Jesus said, “Let the little children come unto me….for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Matthew.19:14, Jeremiah 29:13

During Easter, when I was four years old, I first realized that Jesus was a man. I had already asked Jesus into my life, but the only man I had known well was my father, and he had sexually abused me quite dreadfully. My search after that was to find if all men were like my Dad, and I jumped to the wrong, alarmingly frightening conclusion that all men were in fact like him.

I might have only been kindergarten age but I was quite a thinker, and had already developed enough initiative to do my own detective work. I would decide for myself about the man Jesus. This is how I solved the puzzle.

I had now turned five and was preparing to start school. It was winter. The cold winds blew and rain often pelted down the window panes. I was forced to stay indoors and this enabled me to observe my family quite closely, as we all huddled together by the kerosene heater in the kitchen each evening. What were the others all doing? Everyone was reading!!! A five year old mimic would do the same. So with the help of my sisters I was soon learning to read. I picked it up quickly and so began a favorite pastime.

I was particularly fascinated by the old black book with gilt edged pages that my parents read. I discovered they were reading ‘The Holy Bible’. (King James version.) I wanted to do the same! My parents were quite delighted to loan me a Bible each night, and my father took pains to explain to me what it was all about. He suggested not to start at the beginning like other books, but at St.Matthew in the New Testament section.I began to read Chapter 1. I could not understand the hard words, but then, to my amazement I read:-

16. And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born JESUS!!!

I could not believe my eyes! This black book was about Jesus! I would read this St. Matthew part of the book every single moment I could until I discovered FOR MYSELF what Jesus was like.

The important motive, of course, was to find out if Jesus hurt little girls, and more especially, if Jesus had a WOODSHED, because it was in my father’s woodshed that I was raped and sexually abused in many ways. That was the one vital clue I believed I needed to discover, and that is what I intended to find out. So began my love of Bible reading. I LOVED the Bible. It never bored me, because I read it for a very personal reason. One extraordinary purpose…a life and death issue for me.This research of mine spanned many years, as you can understand. I did not read it all at age five!

My parents were amazed at my memory for the stories of Jesus. As I grew older apparently, I would pray for ten minutes if asked to say ‘Grace’ at meal times, thanking Jesus for all the stories, and recounting as many as I could. (until I was told to stop because tea was getting cold!). I hated to miss Church or Sunday School because the more I could learn the more I was likely to find out if Jesus had a woodshed.

Eventually I came to the amazing conclusion that Jesus was a kind man. He was gentle. He did lovely, thoughtful things for people. He made sick people better. He did not have a little girl, but best of all, he did NOT have a WOODSHED.That was just amazing !!!!!

The relief it brought me as a child……..I guess I was about seven years old by the time I came to this incredible conclusion….still sends shivers of delight down my spine. I suppose my love affair with Jesus has never ended. In theology studies at tertiary level, Christology – the study of Christ – was the subject I loved best. And my major 6000 word essay? You guessed it…..’Jesus as portrayed in the Gospel of St. Matthew’ ! Now isn’t that just awesome…..and I’m still learning about and loving this Jesus more and more.

The fact that Jesus was such a good, kind man, seemed incredible to me. As I grew older however, I came to understand that this Jesus, though a man, was also divine. Fully God, yet fully human too!!! The study of the deity of the man Jesus has been a grand adventure. It explains everything to me. No ordinary man, this Jesus! God in human flesh. What is even more amazing is that I am now the human flesh for God. I have the utterly incredulous honor of being God’s hands and feet to my generation, just as Jesus was back in his time! But I am only human. Nothing like Jesus. JESUS IS GOD!!!!

As a child I had a very favorite hymn. It still is probably my very favorite because it reminds me just how different the man Jesus is to all other people, of any race or gender. I am writing part of it here. Use it today instead of our usual “Prayer” and “Today” sections. Allow it to sink in to your hurting soul (if it hurts today), but also let it to spur you on to read and learn more and more of Jesus. Yes, fully man, but also fully God!

Tell me the stories of Jesus, I love to hear, Things I would ask him to tell me, if he were here Scenes by the wayside, tales of the sea, Stories of Jesus, tell them to me.

First let me hear how the children stood ’round his knee, And I shall fancy his blessing resting on me. Words full of kindness, deeds full of grace, All in the lovelight of Jesus’ face. (W. H. Parker.)

Jesus is the only man who can change the world, because he is God. If you become committed to Jesus, you, too, will have the privilege and responsibility to be the hands and feet of the one holy God, to your friends, family and all you meet .Ask God to allow Jesus to enter your mind and heart. Get to know Jesus!!! You’re in for a lifetime of hard work, personal change, commitment and challenge. You’ll also find it the most rewarding experience of your life!!!

Julie-Anne Wingate. Copyright 2002. All Rights Reserved.