Relationships are the Key – were the opening words of Lisa McInnes-Smith in the March/April edition of Australian Christian Woman. Yesterday I read an article in the Herald-Sun (7 April 2003) entitled “Time to stop deaths like Darryl’s”. It provided current suicide statistics (2001) which were nothing short of shocking!. The total number of suicides in Australia in that year was 2454 – that’s almost 50 deaths a week, every week of the year. The 15-24 year-old age group accounted for 339 of those deaths; in fact, 25% of all male deaths in this age group (16% of female) are attributable to suicide. But it’s not just this young generation. In the 25-34 year age group for instance, suicide accounts for a massive 30% of all male deaths (18% of all female deaths). Men and women aged between 25 and 44 account for nearly half of all suicides – so we are no longer just talking about “youth suicide” being a concern; this is a disease that has transcended age barriers. These figures represent a frightening waste of human life – and indicate a world of silent torment and suffering. In line with Lisa’s opening, I believe relationships are the key. Break-down of relationships, lack of meaningful relationships with family and with God – are the reasons for such a high self-inflicted mortality rate in Australia.

Conversely, Mediterranean countries such as Italy and Greece have some of the lowest suicide rates in the world. They are also known for their protection and preservation of “the family” as high on the agenda. Family is not just Mum, Dad and the kids – it includes grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, in-laws, nephews and nieces – many often living in the same house. Rarely does a person not have the foundation and security of family – a powerful bond that provides strength, companionship and unconditional love.

In western countries like Australia, however, we see the continued fragmentation of the family unit – through divorce, family feuding and a tendency to go-it-alone. Family is regarded as parent/s and child(ren). Grandparents and other relatives live separately – often vast distances apart. Family get-togethers are “occasions” such as Birthdays and Christmas – not a regular link. No longer are mealtimes opportunities to gather together as a unit at the beginning and end of each day to communicate, share joys and sorrows; now the TV dinner rules. One-parent families are becoming common-place with the reality of 1 in 2 marriages failing – so children are even often separated from a parent. Yet the surprising insight – that it is largely also the 25-44 year old age group that resorts to suicide – points to stress and depression that is regarded by the sufferer as unresolvable; that there is no hope for a brighter future, that it’s all “too much to bear” and there is no other way out.

Marital breakdowns is surely one contributing factor – the emotional, financial and social strain of “failing” in this institution weighs heavily on a troubled soul. The mothers/wives have the strain of not only being required to fulfil the motherhood role – but now also the wage earner. As all working women know – this is a stressful, tiring existence – but even more so when they have to do it alone. Sadly, the separation of families (ie grandparents, aunties, adult sisters/brothers) results in these women feeling that they have no-one to turn to for help. It could also be seen as an admission of weakness, an inability to cope. In the “olden days” – help was always available from the extended family (as it still is in Mediterranean countries). Fathers/husbands, however, have the higher suicide statistic – probably largely attributable to unresolved grief at the loss of children, “failure” of marriage, possibly financial stress as having to pay maintenance- effectively supporting two households, loneliness – and an inability to express emotions (not forgetting that they’ve often been brought up with a “boys don’t cry” attitude – subsequently drowning in their pain rather than being able to release it).

Another deadly contributor to these shocking suicide statistics would surely be our fast paced, materialistic lifestyle – pressure to work harder in order to have more “things”. Social status, prestige, success, an affluent lifestyle – all come at a high price. Western society assesses the success of a man (particularly) by his worldly riches – that being wealthy (or not) is a measure of self worth. Those who are outwardly successful then – are so at a cost of relaxation time; they need to work long, hard hours – subsequently little family time together as a result – in order to achieve and then sustain this lifestyle. On the flipside, men in particular who are unable to provide all the latest mod-cons regard themselves as failures. A man’s greatest need is to feel respected; if he sees himself (or his partner tells him) as having failed in his role as provider, head of the family – then what point is there in life? This over-emphasis of the acquisition of “things” as being the answer to happiness – is a western mindset – and the high suicide rates are the end result of this kind of pressure to perform.

Whilst family relationships is one key, our relationship with God is the other. He invites us into a relationship with Him “Knock and the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7) – but sadly most of the world either doesn’t know where the door is, and subsequently don’t have a key to enter. Satan’s subtle, yet successful, growing prominence in the world is a big reason for the state of darkness currently hanging over it. The choice of television shows and movies over the last 20 years has shown a gradual decline in morality and wholesome viewing. This is what today’s children are growing up with – parents declining authority in supervising tv and computer useage allows them to view inappropriate material; they come to regard swearing, violence, lying as normal and acceptable – because that’s what they’re exposed to. Satan is the destroyer, exploiting man’s weaknesses, using his weapons of deceit, discouragement, temptation, selfishness, greed, apathy and revenge to turn otherwise, potentially loving humans into vessels of iniquity. In situations of weakened relationships, he instils those feelings of anxiety, pressure and failure to reduce people into feeling worthless – that there is no point or reason to life. The end result for many of these is suicide – a final victory for the enemy.

As God’s representatives on earth we need to reach out to a world that is desperately crying out for help – for salvation. A meaningless life is destructive. We need to let people know that there is a purpose for them here on earth – and that can be discovered through a wonderful relationship with God. Just as Jesus gave the blind man sight (John 9:6), so too do we need to lead the spiritually blind to Him. We need to show people that true joy is not found in material possessions, nor prestige or wealth – but in being in a relationship with their creator and knowing and living their intended purpose (“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life which the son of Man will give you” John 6:27). Their search for answers can be found in God’s word. Their thirst for self-worth and complete satisfaction can only be quenched by drinking the living water “whoever drinks the water I give will never thirst (John 4:14). Show people God’s promises:

a.. of peace (“..my peace I give you” John 14:27 and “do not be anxious about anything..and the peace of God.. will guard” you.Phillipians 4:6-7)

b.. strength (“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble” Psalm 46:1 and “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come .. to save you” Isiah 35:4)

c.. “He will provide” d.. eternal life – not just something to work for – but to enjoy now. A life that is fruitful, abundant, purposeful gives hope and a sense of security – for both children and adults. The need for the world to (re)establish relationships with God is evident in their suffering. As Jesus disciples we must commit to bringing a world currently in darkness to the light. Only in this manner, can the enemy be defeated.

SUSAN TAGI