• Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave
  her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s
  yours.
  (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

• Find a prostitute and marry her.
  Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
  

• Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering
  his flock.
  Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

• Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the
  deal.
  Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

• Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance,
  grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
  
  Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

• Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this
  will cost you a rib.
  Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

• Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in
  marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work
  another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first
  place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
  Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
  

• Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies
  and get his daughter for a wife.
  David (I Samuel 18:27)
  

• Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and
  you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative of course.)
  Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
  

• Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
  
  Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

• When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents,
  "I have seen a …woman; now get her for me." If your
  parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for
  me. She’s the one for me."
  Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
  

• Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four
  sons though).
  David (2 Samuel 11)

• Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just
  a good idea, it’s
  the law).
  Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

• Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
  Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

• A wife?…NOT!!!
  Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
  

• Become sinless, and die in atonement for others, and you can
  marry a whole bunch of people.
  Jesus (Revelation 15?)
  

(Author: anonymous)