Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: “you sign! You sign!”. Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. “you sign! You sign!”

Nelson says to him, “look mate, you’ve obviously got the wrong bloke. Sod off.” and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back, with a huge truck full of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson’s nose, yelling “you sign! You sign!”

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: “Look, sod off! you’ve got the wrong bloke! I don’t want them!” then slams the door in his face again.

The following day Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, hears a knock on the door again. Upon opening the door, the little Chinese man thrusts the same clipboard under his nose, shouting “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him are TWO large trucks full of car parts. Nelson loses his temper completely, picks the little man up by his shirt front and yells at him: “look, I don’t want these! Do you understand?

You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?”

The little Chinese man looks at him a bit puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: “you not Nissan MainDealer?”

…..

In a recent Round-table Discussion Group the question was asked of the Ministerial Panel, at what point does life begin.

The Baptist Preacher spoke first and said “At conception, of course!”.

The Presbyterian Minister said “No, no, it’s certainly begins at birth”.

The Catholic Priest tried to buffer the obvious argument point and suggested “Perhaps you’re both wrong, and it’s a compromise in that the fetus is not functional with a heartbeat until the third month”.

They had to prod the Jewish Rabbi for his answer, and he finally leaned forward to his mike and spoke softly “All of my friends here are wrong. Life begins when the last child leaves home, and the dog they left behind dies!!!”.