A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was as asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read “Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins”, then she moved under one that read “Sloans Liniments remove Swelling”.I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read “William Stick Did The Trick”. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read “Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.”

He won the case.

SPEED

Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?”

Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.”

Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit., that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”

Sister: “Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.”

At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.”

Cop: “Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something terrible.”

Sister: “Oh, we just got off of highway 119.”

EYE SEE?

So this Oriental guy goes to the eye-doctor for an examination. The doctor takes a look and says “You have cataracts, don’t you?”

The guy replies, “No, a Rinken Continental!”

SNAIL TALE

A bloke went to his mate’s fancy dress party with nothing but a naked girl on his back. “So what the hell are you supposed to be?” the host asked. “I’m a snail.” The bloke replied. “What a load of crap!” the host spat. “How can you be a snail when all you’ve got is that naked girl on your back?” “That’s not a naked girl, mate,” the bloke replied. “That’s Michelle”.