Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar.——–

Warning! At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/ bank cardreaders at the checkout stands. If you don’t know how to orient your card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say, “Strip down, face toward me.”Am I wrong, or is this just asking for trouble?——–

Idiots and Geography:After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.My boss said, “Really? Where is Monosyllabia?”Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.He replied, “Oh, you mean over by Croatia?”——–

Advice for Idiots:An actual tip from page 16 of the HP “Environmental, Health & SafetyHandbook for Employees.””Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.”——–

Idiots in the NeighborhoodI live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call thelocal township administrative office to request the removal of the DeerCrossing sign on our road.The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.————

Idiots and Computers:My neighbor works in the operations department in the central officeof a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:”I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys havea fire downtown?”