The following beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from students’ essays, exams, and class room discussions.
- One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
- You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it you got hit, so never mind.
- When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
- When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
- While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
- Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.
- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.
- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
- We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
- H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
- Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
- I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
- In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
- Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
- Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog’s tongue will kill the strongest man.
- Isotherms & isobars are even more important than their names sound.
- It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.
– Compiled by (Original sources unknown)
Loch Ness
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”
“Come on God, give me a break!!,” the man pleaded. “two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”
Funny signs around the country
- In a Nairobi restaurant -“Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.”
- In a Westlands jewellery store -“Ears pierced while you wait.”
- In the window of an Indian store along River Road -“Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”
- On the grounds of a private school -“No trespassing without permission.”
- On an Athi River highway – “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
- On a poster at Kencom -“Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.”
- In a City restaurant – “Open seven days a week and weekends.”
- One of the Mathare buildings – “Mental Health Prevention Center”
- A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer – “Do not activate with wet hands.”
- In a Pumwani maternity ward – “No children allowed.”
- In an cemetery – “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
- In a Thika hotel – Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please don’t read this notice.
- In a hotel in Mombasa – Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
- A sign posted in a tourist camping park – It is strictly forbidden on our camping sites that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
- In a Hindu temple – It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
- In a New Nairobi Club – Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
- In the same club – Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
What is “pi”?
- Historian: Pi has always been a number of great interest, dating back to Egypt’s Pharaohs…
- Mathematician: Pi is the number expressing the relationship between the circumference of a circle and its diameter.
- Physicist: Pi is 3.1415927 plus or minus 0.000000005
- Engineer: ’bout 3.
Go forth and Multiply!
A mathematician, a physicist and a engineer were posed the question: what is 2 x 2 ?
The physicist takes a notebook and starts scribbling. After three frazzled days of the most complex calculations, he finds (with use of the Earth’s radius, the gravitation constant, star maps and a dozen technical references) it is: “Somewhere between pi and 2 times the square root of 3.”
The mathematician comes back after a week with a 30-page proof and dark rings under his eyes and proclaims: “Colleges, here is complete proof that there *IS* a unique solution.”
The engineer says “Of course. It’s 4.”
The other two just stood there stunned. They look at each other, then turn back to the engineer, “Humph! You just memorised it!”
– As told by (An engineer, of course!)
Discussion
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