From: “Rowland C. Croucher” <>
Sent by a friend (no malice intended: Fundos – why don’t you do one for
Liberals?)
You ~might~ be becoming too fundamentalish when…
 * You pronounce “sin” with two syllables.
 * You enjoy talking to people in King James English.
 * You are building your own pulpit for your living room.
 * You think hair tonic is Biblical.
 * You find June Cleaver attractive.
 * You believe Moses should have shaved.
 * You have a portrait of Sodom and Gomorrah, the day after they
   were nuked.
 * You pronounce it “Bab-tist.”
 * You say “Gosh Darn.”
 * You scrawl Bible verses on the bathroom walls at Stuckeys.
 * You thought Back to the Future was a movie about Biblical Prophecy.
 * You store tracts in your cellular phone carrying case.
 * You can trace Saddam Hussein’s genealogy to Nebuchadnezzar.
 * You think genuflect is a type of mirror.
 * You wish you could preach like Louis Farrakhan.
 * You know that unscrambling “Santa” is “Satan.”
 * You exchange any currency that has three 6’s in a row.
 * You think credit cards are a tool of the devil to identify you to
   the Anti-Christ.
 * You think that bar codes are demonic.
 * You think the band K.I.S.S. means Knights in Satan’s Service.
 * You found back-masking on Amy Grant’s albums.
 * You think that Gregorian Chants are a tool of the devil
 * You think Victoria’s Secret is an Illuminati conspiracy.
 * You know the writing on the Statue of Liberty’s tablet was put
   there by a Mason, in an Illuminati conspiracy.
 * You have a chart of the hidden symbols of the dollar bill.
 * You think movies are a tool of the devil.
 * You think Pat Robertson was okay till he ran for president.
 * Your idea of a happin’ weekend is to attend an anti-Catholic seminar.
 * You think the guy with the long hair and John 3:16 sign at golf
   tournaments is liberal.
 * You think Jerry Falwell is liberal.
 * You think Jesus is liberal.
 * You think Deviled ham is a conspiracy of the Illumnati.
 * You call Israel “the Holy Land.”
 * You think a modem is a tool of the devil.
 * You think Charlton Heston was great in the Ten Commandments ….but
   you repent of watching it because movies are a tool of the devil.
 * You pronounce “repent” as “rheeeee-paint!”
 * You say Amen more than once an hour.
 * You pray so long your food gets cold.
 * You argue Pat Buchanan is misunderstood.
 * You think Burt Reynolds was great in Smoky and the Bandit …but you
   repent of watching it because movies are a tool of the devil.
 * You have a fish on the back of your car, your boat, your bicycle and
   your briefcase… you’d get a tattoo, but they’re tools of the devil.
 * Your wife puts a scripture tract in your lunch.
 * You have your name stamped on your 10+ Bibles.
 * You know four Greek words for love and their different usages.
 * You think Notre Dame football team are all secretly Jesuit priests
   in an Illuminati conspiracy.
 * You name your children after the apostles.
 * You become an Amway dealer to evangelize in disguise.
 * You like being an Amway dealer.
— 
Shalom!  Rowland Croucher                     ()