• Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
• You’ve ever lied at a funeral.
• You always read the obituaries.
• You’ve ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia
  Pursuit.

• You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with
  you.

• You get your second wind when you say “And in conclusion ·”
• The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
• Your car tyres are balding faster than your head.
• You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.
• You’ve seen more religion at a pool hall than you’ve seen at a Church
  cricket match.

• Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
• “Annual Church Meeting” and “Armageddon” are one and the same to you.

(Adapted from “The Joyful Noiseletter”, May 1998)