Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 09:27:56 -0400
From: CK Bannister <>
To: christia listserv <>
Subject: CHILDREN JOKE FOR THE DAY

Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, Calif., for his
3rd-grade
homework assignment to "Explain God":

"One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the
ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on
earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are
smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn’t have to take up His
valuable time teaching them to talk and walk, He can just leave that to
mothers and fathers. God’s second most important job is listening to
prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like
preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn’t have
time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because He hears
everything there must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He
has thought of a way to turn it off.
God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps
Him pretty busy. So you shouldn’t go wasting His time by going over
your mom and dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t
have. Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t think there
are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren’t any who come to our
church. Jesus is God’s Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking
on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who
didn’t want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching
to them and they crucified Him. But He was good and kind like His Father
and He told His Father that they didn’t know what they were doing and to
forgive them and God said OK. His Dad (God) appreciated everything that
He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He didn’t have
to go out on the road anymore, He could stay in heaven. So He did. And
now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which
are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of
Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary only more
important. You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to hear you
because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the times.
You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and
if there’s anybody you want to make happy, it’s God. Don’t skip church
to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This
is wrong! And, besides, the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon
anyway. If you don’t believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will
be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like
to camp, but God can. It is good to know He’s around you when you’re
scared in the dark or when you can’t swim very good and you get thrown
into real deep water by big kids. But you shouldn’t just always think of
what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take me
back anytime He pleases. And that’s why I believe in God."