The former ruler of Russia and his wife were called Tsar and
Tsarina. …Their children were called Tsardines.

I think I can, I think I can…

Imagine that each leader of the United Soviet Socialist Republic
finds himself on a train in the middle of nowhere, when suddenly the
tracks have come to an end. What instructions would he give to his
entourage?

Lenin: Go infuse the peasants with revolutionary spirit and organize
them to build new rails to carry our train forward!

Stalin: Round up the peasants, lay down their bodies before the
train and we shall ride over them.

Khrushchev: Go out, tear up the tracks from behind the train, set
them down in front and we shall continue our journey.

Brezhnev: Pull all the curtains in the carriage, rock back and forth
and make clicking noises.

Gorbachev: We have glasnost now. Run outside and shout at the top
of your lungs: “There are no rails!”

Yeltsin: Give the tracks, the train, and the passengers back to
their original homelands!