This is reportedly an actual phone dialog of a former WordPerfect
Customer Support employee:

Support: "Hello, Technical Support; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect."

S: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just
typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

S: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."

S: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C:
"Nothing."

S: "Nothing?"
C: "It’s blank; it won’t accept
anything when I type."

S: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"

S: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
C:
"What’s a sea-prompt?"

S: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the
screen?"
C: "There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t
accept anything I type."

S: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C:
"What’s a monitor?"

S: "It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?"
C:
"I don’t know."

S: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C:
<pause> "Yes, I think so."

S: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s
plugged into the wall."
C: <pause> "Yes, it
is."

S: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C:
"No."

S: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable."
C: <pause> "Okay, here it
is."

S: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
C: "I can’t reach."

S: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C:
"No."

S: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?"
C: "Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right
angle-it’s because it’s dark."

S: "Dark?"
C: "Yes-the office light is off, and
the only light I have is coming in from the window."

S: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I
can’t."

S: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there’s a power
outage."

S: "A power?!? A *power* outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them
in the closet."

S: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that
bad?"

S: "Oh, yes, I’m afraid it is."
C: "Well, all
right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

S: "Tell them you’re just too darn stupid to own a
computer."