Element:       Woman
 Symbol:        Wo
 Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary from 105 
        to 175
 Discoverer:    Adam
 Occurance:     Copious quantities in all Urban areas,
                with slightly lower concentrations in
                Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to
                seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties:

1) Surface usually covered with painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states ranging from virgin
metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:

1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and
many precious stones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but displays increased
activity when saturated in alcohol.
5) Repels cheap material.
6) Neutral to common sense.
7) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses:

Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
Can cool things down when it’s too hot.

Tests:

Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in
natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:

1) Highly dangerous except in experienced
hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one, except in Utah.

(origin unknown)