EXPERTS WARN OF THREAT FROM 100GigaBurg BUG

– Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our
beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.

As most people know, McDonald’s restaurant signs show the
number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at
99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks,
that number will roll over to 100GB. McDonald’s signs, however, were
designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion
hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two decimal
places.

This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger,
McDonald’s signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This,
experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no
McDonald’s hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete
collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald’s products.

The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost
certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in
turn, will push the teetering American economy over the brink, which,
finally, will complete the total devastation of the global economy,
ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on
beetles.

"The people who know — the sign-makers — are really
scared of 100GB," one expert said. "I don’t know about you,
but I’m digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS
and heading for the hills."