These cute statements were written by actual students and are genuine,
authentic and not re-touched or corrected:

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like
Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which
is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still
and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.