Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue, And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang
like yew. Yore hair is lak cornsilk, a-flappin’ in da breeze.

Softer dan Blue’s, and without all dem fleas.

Yew move lak da bass, which excite me in May.

Yew ain’t got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

Yo’re as graceful as okry, Jist a-dancin’ in da pan.

Yo’re as fragrant as SunDrop, right outta da can.

Yew have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd. On special occasions, when yew shave
yore armpits, Well, I’m in hawg heaven! – I’m plumb outta my wits. And
speakin’ of wits, yew’ve got plenty fer shore.

‘Cuz yew married me, back in ‘74.

Still dem fellers at work, dey all wanna know, What I did to deserve such a purty,
young doe. Lak a good roll of duct tape, yo’re there fer yore man, To patch up
life’s troubles, and stick ‘em in da can. Yo’re as strong as a
four-wheeler, racin’ thru da mud, Yet fragile as dat sanger, named Naomi Judd.
Yo’re as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin’ overhead.

Yew ain’t mean lak no far ant, upon which I oft’ tread. Cut from da best
pattern, lak a flannel shirt of plaid, Yew sparked up my life, like a Rattletrap shed.
When yew hold me real tight, lak a padded gunrack, My life is complete; ain’t
nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection, lak da best vinyl sidin’.

Despite all da years, yore age, it keeps hidin’.

And when yew get old, lak a ‘57 Chevy,

Won’t put yew up on blocks, and let grass grow up heavy. Me ‘n’
yew’s lak a Moon Pie, wif an RC cold drank, We go together; lak a skunk goes wif
stank. Some men, dey buy chocolate, fer Valentine’s Day;

Dey git it at Wal-Mart; it’s romantic dat way.

Some men git roses on dat special day

From da cooler at Kroger; "Dat’s impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds, from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," dey explain, suave and couth.

But fer dis man, Honey, dese will not do.

Fer yew are too special, yew Sweet Thang, yew. I got yew a gift, without taste nor
odor, Better than diamonds; it’s a new trollin’ motor!