A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and  looked at
the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked
it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in
between the pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: "I think it’s Adam’s
suit!"

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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,  he moved
briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before
jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together  in
church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough.
"You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who’s going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the
church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers."

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The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several
national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?"
A little girl called out, "That’s the flag of our country."

"Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our
country?"

‘Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.

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After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last, she threw a towel around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"

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Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to a restaurant for
lunch. They couldn’t make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the
grandfather grinned at the server and said,"Just bring them bread and water."

One of the little boys looked up and quavered,"Can I have ketchup on it?"

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A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She
replied, "No, I’m the lonely child."

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A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to
skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I’d gotten to know you
sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and
God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we
alike?"

"You’re both old," he replied.

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor.

She told him she was writing a story. "What’s it about?" he asked.

"I don’t know," she replied. "I can’t read."

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I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask what color it was.

She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to
figure out some of these yourself!"

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A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable
about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin
was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the
last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,
stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.