Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on
the roof of her hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second,  she decided that no one
could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her
stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of
breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn’t mind your sunbathing on the
roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did
yesterday."

"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can
see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You’re lying on the dining
room skylight."

The Best Part of Waking Up!

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her
coffee.

She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom,
there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what
are the army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-‘The best part of waking up is soldiers
in your cup!’"