One day a group of scientists got together & decided that man had come a long way
& no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go & tell Him that they
were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God & said, "God, we’ve decided that we no longer
need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so
why don’t you just go on & get lost."

God listened very patiently to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said,
"Very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a man-making contest." To which
the scientist replied, "Okay, great!"

But God added, "Now, we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days
with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" & bent down, scoopingup a handful
of dirt.

God looked at him and said, "No, no, no.

You go get your own dirt!"

AND, AND~~

Nothing is so smiple that it can’t get screwed up.

And a little pastor humor…

The Pastor’s Plight

The pastor of a church is in a precarious position; s/he can’t please everyone! It has
been said:

If young, lacks experience; if the hair is grey, too old.

If several children, too many; if no children, setting a bad example.

If preaching from notes, uses canned sermons and is too dry;

If no notes, has not studied and is not deep.

If attentive to the poor people in the church, playing to the grandstand; if paying
attention to the wealthy, trying to be an aristocrat.

If suggestions for improvement of the church, is a dictator;

if suggestions, is a figurehead.

If using too many illustrations, neglecting the Bible; if not enough illustrations,
isn’t clear.

If condemning wrong, is cranky; if not preaching against sin, a compromiser.

If failing to please somebody, hurting the church and ought to leave; if tries to
please everyone, is a fool.

If preaching about money, a money grabber; if not preaching spiritual giving, is
failing to develop the people.

If driving an old car, shames the congregation; if driving a new car, setting affection
on earthly things.

If preaching all the time, the people get tired of hearing one person; if guest
speakers are invited, is shirking pastoral responsibility.

If receiving a large salary; a mercenary; if receiving only a small salary, well-it
proves not worth much anyway. speaking of shapes~~~

I’m in shape … round’s a shape isn’t it?