AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub
faucet on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over
a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fect’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the
floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove" all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. the actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in
a theater.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan
and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep
it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak’to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the "open
here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the
"illegal" side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems
to be walking around asking dinners if they want ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee’zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting
whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its
nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone
ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.