Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It is predestined when the lights will be on.
Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.
Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q: How many TV Evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation
today.
Q: How many Campfire Worship Leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
Q: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls.
Q: How many Conservative Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is
a woman.
Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole congregation needs to vote on it.
Q: How many Missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. Five to determine how many can be changed by the Year 2000, four to raise the
necessary funds and one to go find a national to do the job.
Q: How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change????
Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they are still in darkness.
Q: How many Uniting Church Members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favour
of or against the need for a light bulb, if in your own journey you have found that the
light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a
modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or
non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday Service, in
which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, three-way, long life, and tinted – all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.
Graeme Hunt
Discussion
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