(Especially for American lurkers…)

Received from Smart Lady of the house Sherri of intellex.com:

Church Football

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave

Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the
service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the
Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin
to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s
illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher
goes "overtime".

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect
your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening
service.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.