1 – Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force –
such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 – Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there’s a really good reason to change
direction.

3 – Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the
darkness of the fabric.

4 – Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case
all heat flows to the cat.

5 – Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 – Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for
the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 – Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has
anything remotely interesting on it.

8 – Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 – Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 – Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

11 – Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do
something.

12 – First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as
little energy as possible.

13 – Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored by
a lot of napping.

14 – Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out
something good to eat.

15 – Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

16 – Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given
room.

17 – Law of Bag / Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible
nanosecond.

18 – Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the
amount of human laughter.

19 – Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

20 – Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the
furniture.