Paddy and Murphy are flying the 10.30 Aer Lingus flight from Heathrow to
Dublin. As they come in over the East Coast of Ireland … the following conversation
ensues… "Sheeeezzz" said Paddy "Will ye look at how short dat runway
is". 

"You’re not kiddin’, Paddy" replied Murphy. 

"Dis is gonna be one a’ de trickiest landings you’re ever gonna see" said
Paddy. 

"You’re not kiddin’, Paddy" replied Murphy. 

"Right Murphy. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse" said
Paddy. 

"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Murphy. 

"And den ye put de flaps down straight away" said Paddy 

"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Murphy. 

"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy 

"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Murphy. 

"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a’ your soul" said Paddy 

"I be doing dat already" replied Murphy. 

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Murphy full of nerves and sweaty palms. As
soon as the wheels hit the ground, Murphy put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down,
stamped on the brakes and  prayed  to Mother Mary with all of his
soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the
relief of Paddy and Murphy and everyone on board. 

As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window
and said to Murphy "Dat has gotta be de shortest bloomin’  runway I have EVER
seen in me whole life". 

Murphy looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, but look how flippin’
wide it is".