Something for everyone

The Advantages of Being a Woman

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, Free dinners, Free moving (you get the point).

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our “privates” are still there.

If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at his/her shoes.

While men have remained generally the same since attaining an erect stance thru evolution, woman have progressed into completely rational and complex beings.

Why It’s Great to be a Guy

Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don’t give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut.

You don’t have to ask friends if you look fat in your clothes.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s icky.

Same work…..More pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress = $2000…..Tux rental = $100.

If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest while your talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted not to trap you with, “So, Notice anything different?”

You don’t have to pull your gray hair

ONE MOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!