You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a Mcdonald’s in Vail.

You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.

You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

North means “mountains to the left”; south is “mountains to the right”; and east and west are where all those liberals keep moving in from.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels “sticky” and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.

You think gun control is not dropping it.

Your bridal registry is at REI.

You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

You have stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.