HMO World -=-=-=-=-

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results.

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent your wife’s samples to the lab, some samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well. One Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife’s.”

Mr. Smith: “That’s terrible! Can we do the test over to see the right answer?”

Receptionist: Normally, yes. But you have an HMO insurance program, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.

Mr. Smith: “What can we do?”

Receptionist: “The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her. _____________________________________________________________

Census =-=-=-

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, “Les’ see now, there’s the twins, Margie and Mikey, they’re eighteen. And the twins, Pam & Sam, they’re sixteen. And the twins, Sissy and Missy, they’re fourteen.”

“Hold on!” said the census taker, “Did you get twins every time?”

The woman answered, “Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothin’.”