‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt— I said to myself, as only I can ” You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man! “

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chips Every last bit of food that I like must be banished ” Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick. I’ll want to chew only on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore— But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! “

Author Unknown…