A Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM, a fearsome army character with a Stentorian voice) is drilling some recruits on the parade ground when he gets a message that the mother of one of them has died.

(RSM) “SMITH, YOUR MOTHER’S DEAD!” Smith drops down in a dead faint.

The RSM’s superior officer takes him on one side afterwards and tells him he should be a bit more tactful about such things.

(RSM) “YES, SIR, I WILL BE”

A week later a similar event occurs.

(RSM, on the parade ground) “ALL THOSE WITH MOTHERS, TWO STEPS FORWARD!”

“JONES, WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?”