The Top 10 Philosophy Questions of All Time… Answered!

10. How do I know anything really exists? -Kick it *really* hard.

9. What is the essence of being human? -Not understanding the opposite sex.

8. If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? -Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

7. How do I know I’m not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life? -Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.

6. Can our minds exist separately from our bodies? -If they could, we’d just send our minds to work and sleep in every morning.

5. Is there a God? -A billion Hindus can’t be wrong.

4. What is the nature of Knowledge? -I’m still trying to figure out the nature of college.

3. What is the meaning of life? -All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.

2. Why get a Philosophy degree? -It’s more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.

1. So, was Kant on drugs or what? -Probably.