“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.” – August Strindberg

Dogs and Computers: Same or Different?

Favorite Food Dogs: kibbles Computers: bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper Computers: hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property D: dog not found C: file not found

Favorite trick D: roll over C: play dead

Comic-page hero D: Dogbert C: Dilbert

Fun way to mess with their heads D: peanut butter on roof of mouth C: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive

Consequence of virus D: replace valuable carpeting C: replace valuable data

Widely ignored government mandate D: leash law C: Communications Decency Act

Waste disposal tool D: pooper-scooper C: uninstaller (necessary only on Win-tel machines!)

Sensitive internal procedures D: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional C: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed “one kind-of like this” once

Method of marking territory D: lifting leg C: “Designed for Windows 95”

Unique behavior D: lick and drag C: click-and-drag

Inexplicable physical feature D: dewclaw C: scroll lock key

Estimated lifespan D: 12 years C: 12 months

At end of useful life D: euthanasia C: tax deduction