A closed mouth gathers no feet. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.