The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. [Helen Hayes, at 73]

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. Janette Barber]

Whoever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear it, I

think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. [Jan King]

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.[Carrie Snow]

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.[Laurie Kuslansky]

My second favorite household chore is ironing.

My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. [Erma Bombeck]

Old age ain’t no place for sissies. [Bette Davis]

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.[Rhonda Hansome]

The phrase “working mother” is redundant. [Jane Sellman]

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. [Jennifer Unlimited]

Fifty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. [Caryn Leschen]

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. [Jennifer Unlimited]

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. [Catherine Aird]

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss … and they called ME slow! [Kathy Buckley]

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb and I’m also not blonde. [Dolly Parton]

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see

a smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]

I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr]

I think – therefore I’m single. [Lizz Instead]

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. [Elayne Boosler]

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. [Maryon Pearson]

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. [Gloria Steinem]

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.[Zsa Zsa Gabor]

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. [Eleanor Roosevelt]