The following excuses have been suggested if you get caught sleeping on the job:

“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

“This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.”

“Whew! I must have left the top off the liquid paper.”

“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!”

“Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!”

“Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.”

“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”

“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”

“I’m sorry, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.”

“Oh, man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!”

“…and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!”