The following appeared on the ELCA-L list. It was attributed to “a friend who got it from. . .” and is allegedly serious. I attest to nothing except that it appeared on the ELCA-L list and I am porting it here:

To Include Company of Heaven in Communion Fellowship Resolution 3-45

WHEREAS, The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod only communes those who are members of The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod and are in fellowship with it; and

WHEREAS, Jesus and many of the saints in heaven were on earth long before the establishment of The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod; and

WHEREAS, During the Lord’s Supper we celebrate the holy meal “with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven” (LW, pp. 146-48); therefore be it

RESOLVED, That we make all the company of heaven honorary members of The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod, even if they were not Lutheran in this life, so that we are not breaking our own rules when we come to the Lord’s Table; and be it further

RESOLVED, That we declare Jesus the Christ to be an honorary member of The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod so that in His second coming He will not be turned away from a Lutheran altar.