Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!

Pupil: What ?, and get bitten!

Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!

Why were you late?

Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

You mean you need to sleep at home too!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?

Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me?

Son: I can’t go to school today.

Father: Why not?

Son: I don’t feel well

Teacher: Where don’t you feel well?

Son: In school!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you?

Pupil: Not very much!

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football

Son: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.

School Secretary: Who is this?

Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Father: How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between!