Sigmund Freud – The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity!

Bill Gates – I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your chequebook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

Dr Seuss – Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I’ve not been told.