GLOSSARY ( from “666 Ways To Survive In Church”)

– Mark Tindall —————–

AMEN – Yes, I agree; or in prayer “The End”

BEING NEGATIVE – Being truthful

BEING POSITIVE – Ignoring the truth of the matter

BROTHER / SISTER – Other Christian whose name you have forgotten (Gender must not be confused!)

CHORUS – Banal, trite, cliche-ridden, religious ad; doggerel put to music; Jesus Jingle

GOD BLESS YOU – Hello; G’day; See you later; Goodbye

I FEEL LED TO – I’m going to whether you like it or not; Holier-Than-Thou Jesus-Like Justification (HJJ)

I’LL PRAY ABOUT IT – I’ll ignore your request because I’m more spiritual than you are

I’M NOT BEING EDIFIED – I don’t like what you’re saying, playing, writing, etc.

JESUS STICKER / POSTER – Religious propaganda slogan / cartoon; Pentecostal Picasso

LET’S PRAY – Let’s recite cliches

MOTIVATIONAL GIFTS – The Pentecostal Zodiac

OF THE DEVIL / SATANIC / EVIL – Not fitting the cultural norms of this church group; “You didn’t mention Jesus!”

OF THE FLESH – The use or mention of the intellect, rock music or sex does not fit the cultural norms of this church group; “You didn’t mention Jesus!”

PRAISE – Recitation of cliches; chanting the Pentecostal Mantra

PRAISE THE LORD / HALLELUJAH / GLORY TO GOD / PRAISE GOD / BLESS THE LORD / JESUS JESUS JESUS / YES LORD / AMEN – General cliches; fillers; Rippa / Bonza / Bewdy / Good one / Yabba-dabba-do / Polly want a cracker; the Pentecostal Mantra

SOULISH – Intelligent; pertaining to commonsense

SOME SCRIPTURES FOR YOU – “Take note of this, you heathen / pagan / humanist / New Ager / backslider!”; one’s personal ideas for inclusion in the Drastically Edited Version of the bible (DEV) and on which the victim is obliged to act upon if a ‘true Christian’.

SPIRITUAL – Fitting the cultural norms of this church group; feeling good

THUS SAITH THE LORD – The beginning or end of theatrical performance in a pentecostal church; “The show’s about to start, folks!”

TITHES – Get-Rich-Quick Scheme for pastors; Flock Fleece; Religious Robbery

WE’LL PRAY FOR YOU – We’ll recite cliches over you; We don’t like what you’re saying, playing, writing, etc

WORSHIP – Recitation of cliches; feeling good; chanting the Pentecostal Mantra;

ACT OF — Paying tithes