I am moved to quote John Dennis 1657-1734

“A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket.”

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A good pun is its own re-word.

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The village of Tridia was besieged by vicious giants who would repeatedly storm through town and kick the peasants around. So after months of torment, they send the village rabbi to attempt to neogtiate with the giant. The rabbi goes off, and comes back hours later, having been kicked so hard he can barely sit down. The villagers consoled him, saying, “Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids.”

While it’s common knowledge that Bill Clinton was an accomplished saxopohonist, it’s not so widely known that his vice president was also a musician in his own right, who was well respected among certain circles as a great jazz drummer, responsible for the invention of Al Gore Rythms…

(And Clinton traded his sax for his whoremonica.)

A man who had just bought a new Civic complained to his doctor that ever since the purhase, he had been suffering from uncontrolled flatulance, which produced a smell very similar to the exhaust fumes from the car. The doctor recognized the symptoms immediately, and referred the man to his colleague, a dentist. Confused that flatulance should be somehow related to dentistry, the man nevertheless took his doctor’s advice and saw the dentist. Sure enough, the dentist discovered an absess in one of his molars. After the tooth was repaired, the flatulance went away completely. The man called his original doctor back, amazed that he could have guessed the corrolation. The doctor explained that it was commonly known among those in his profession that absess makes the fart go Honda.

A veterinarian who specialized in foot conditions of dogs, specifically hard-paw caused by corns in their feet, was one of the most well respected experts in the field of hard-paw cornography.

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