Man with clipboard knocks on door. Door is opened by a moron.

Moron – Yerssss?

Man – Hello, I’m doing some market research. Is your father in?

Moron – Nahhh! He’s in jail.

Man – Oh! (ticks clipboard). Can I speak to your mother then?

Moron – Nahhh! She’s on the game down the pub.

Man – Hmmm! (another tick). Well, do you have any brothers or sisters?

Moron – Got one of each but me sisters down the pox clinic having ‘er weekly jab.

Man – Ah! (another tick) What about your brother?

Moron – He’s not here either, he’s at the university

Man – Gosh! I’m surprised. Let’s see now. Your father’s a criminal, your mother’s a prostitute, your sister is a slag and you (peering over the clipboard) are obviously a cretin. And yet! And yet this totally dysfunctional family has managed to produce someone who made it to university. That’s amazing. What does your brother do there?

Moron – He’s in a specimen jar on the Dean’s desk.

Danny