1.. At a school nativity play, three young children were cast as the kings. Presenting their gifts, the first said: “Gold”, the second: “Myrrh”, and the third: “And Frank sent this”. 2. The Sunday School teacher was telling the story of the nativity, and had just finished the part about there being “No room at the inn”. A small voice piped up, “I blame Joseph, he should have booked.”

3. The nursery school children were asked to draw pictures of Jesus’ birthplace. One of them drew Mary, Joseph, Jesus in the manger and an enormously fat man, The teacher asked the child who the fat man was, and was told, “Oh that’s round John Virgin.”

4.. After Christmas three children were asked what they had done on Christmas Day. One the son of the minister, said that the family had been to church, and then arriving home had opened their presents and sung a carol. A Roman Catholic boy said he had been to Mass, then opened his presents and later sung carols. A little Jewish boy said that his father owned a toy factory, and after breakfast they had visited the factory, looked at the empty shelves and sung “What a friend we have in Jesus”.

5.. The Vicar and his wife had left for a conference abroad, forgetting to give instructions for the banner which was to decorate the hall at the Christmas Carol Concert, the following weekend. The secretary of the Mothers’ Union was astonished to receive a telegram from France which read simply:

UNTO US A SON IS BORN

NINE FEET LONG AND THREE FEET WIDE.

REV AND MRS JOHNSON.

6. The following lines are quoted from a children’s nativity play when Mary and Joseph approaches the innkeeper who tells them there is no room in the inn:

Joseph: But my wife is pregnant

Innkeeper: Well, it’s not my fault

Joseph: It’s not my fault either