22/11/2002 – Modern Psychologist Journal.

A new Harvard University study has shed new light on the problem of spousal abuse. The study, lead by sociologist Marvin Shumacker suggests that upiddy women who shoot their mouths off, or more commonly put… mouth off, are far more likely to receive a beating than women who stay in the kitchen and bake pies.

Shumacker points to one case study which illuminates his new theory. The case of the Crumpackers, a couple living in Fresno, California. For years Raylene took beatings from Hank until Dr. Shumacker heard of the couple from the local welfare board.

“It is clear, this bitch does not know her place” states Shumacker. Husband Hank tells the story –

“I would would say something like….*hey bitch..this toast is burnt*…and all she would say is ..*ah.. I’m sorry* ” states a despondent Hank Crumpacker. “That kind of xxxx I won’t take!”

Hank tells of a recent harrowing experience. “I get home from a double shift at K-Mart looking forward to some Cheez Whiz when I notice the cap is off. I say …*hey bitch, who left the cap off the Cheez Whiz…its all dried out!* ” Dr. Shumacker concludes that wife beating in the US would decrease dramatically if women were to simply shut their stupid little mouths.