On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my

Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave

to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of

members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for

in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a

note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal

ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products

from enslaved bovine,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on government protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowls producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic

incarceration,

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to

throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and

partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid

further animal enslavement, the remaining gift package has been

revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poems

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

and…

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

(Author unknown)