Caller: I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I’m sorry, there’s no such listing. Are you sure you have thespelling correct? Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

Caller: I’d like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven. Operator: I can’t find a town called ‘Woven’? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That’s what it says on the label – Woven in Scotland.

Caller: I’d like the RSPCA please. Operator: Where are you calling from? Caller: The living room.

Caller: The water board please. Operator: Which department? Caller: Tap water

Operator: How are you spelling that? Caller: With letters.

Caller: I’d like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please. Operator: Do you have his name? Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please. Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers? Caller: Yes.