My first job was stacking shelves at Tesco, and I worked the swing shift finishing at 2am.

One night there was a little accident and a stack of boxes of whisky fell on top of me. I wasn’t hurt, but I was soaked in the stuff.

Driving home (at precisely the right time for night clubs slinging out) I was stopped by the Police on some pretext. The constable noted the smell and asked if I had been drinking, to which I replied:

“No, actually a crate of whisky fell on me”

Bad mistake!