Abundance: Big party held in a bakery. (Aiken Drum)

Arch Criminal: One who robs shoe stores (Stan Kegel)

Absentee: A missing golf peg. (Liguorian)

Adventure: A new marketing campaign. (Lars Hanson)

Advertisement: What gets people on the brandwagon. (Robert Meyers)

Almanac: Annual Manual (Stan Kegel)

Amount: Large rock (Jan Hyde)

Anger: Barbed ire (Stan Kegel)

Antelope: Why Grandpa won’t forgive Uncle! (Gunjan Saraf)

Apprenticeship: Hire learning (Leopold Fechtner)

Arrest: What you take when you are tired. (Leopold Fechtner)

Artifacts: Information on painters (Jonathan Delaney)

Automobile: A machine that runs up hills and down people. (Syman Hirsch)

Band Uniform: Toot suit (Stan Kegel)

Barque : Noise made by dyslexic dogs (Jan Hyde)

Beverages: Coffee, Tea, Eye Swatter (Cynthia MacGregor)

Beyond: Sleepy Bee (J. A. Mc.)

Birth Control: A method of avoiding the issue (Stan Kegel)

Candy Bar: Sweet treat (Stan Kegel)

Cash Purchases: Debt defying acts. (Stan Kegel)

Capsize: Head Measurment (Jan Hyde)

Choir Practice: Hymnastics (Stan Kegel)

City: One who is sat on. (Richard Lederer)

Concentrate: A special penny postage rate available only to prisoners at federal prisons. (Stan Kegel)

Condescending: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope. (Archives)

Crosscheck: A term used in chess to indicate checking an opponent’s king by a bishop or queen on the diagonal. (Stan Kegel)

Consummate: To pull the wool over the eyes of a spouse. (Cynthia MacGregor)

Coup de Gras: A Lawnmower (Fred)

Dark Ages: Knight Time (Stan Kegel)

Debris: A foreskin restoration program for Jewish men. (Robert E. Lewis)

Defence: Perimeter of de garden (Jan Hyde)

Denominator: Her name was placed on the ballot by denominator. (Richard Lederer)

Dimension: A child’s face will light up at dimension of candy. (Richard Lederer)

Diminished Responsibility : Midget Mistake (Jan Hyde)

Divorce: Going through a change of wife. (Henny Youngman)

Drainage: Sewer how old? (Glenn Gardner)

Drive-in Movie: Wall to wall car petting. (M. Rose Pierce)

Ego Trip: Stumbling over your own feat. (Stan Kegel)

Electrician: A man who wires for money (Stan Kegel)

Epiphany: See bird’s leg joint. (Glenn Gardner)

Era: Spelling mistake (Jan Hyde)

Exact: Dropped scenes (J. A. Mc.)

Filigree: Accomodating to young studs. (Glenn Gardner)

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people. (Helen Hoke)

Flan: whut dem birds is doin’ over yo’ head. (duh me)

Flatulence: Effect of sitting on your eyeglasses. (Stan Kegel)

Font: Priestly Type (Jan Hyde)

Foreclosure: A fate worse that debt (Lee Daniel Quinn)

Foresight: Spectacles are (Jan Hyde)

Foresight: Sage’s Saga (J. A. Mc)

Free Speech: Making long distance calls on other people’s phones (Lee Daniel Quinn)

Geometry: When the acorn grew up into an oak, it exclaimed, “Geometry” (Richard Lederer)

Girls: The best idea that any boy has had to date (Stan Kegal)

Goal Setter: Netting doing. (J. A. Mc)

Grammar: Lives with granpar (Jan Hyde)

Grievous Error: What you do at a crone’s funeral. (Glenn Gardner)

Handkerchief: Cold storage. (John Nunley)

Hangman: Hippy greeting (Jan Hyde)

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg (Leopold Fechtner)

Hijack: A tool for changing airline tires. (Leopold Fechtner)

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise (M. Rose Pierce)

Hypochondriac: A guy who won’t let well enough alone (Kegel Archives)

Indecent exposure : The naked truth. (Jan Hyde)

Inheritance: Will gotten gains (Stan Kegel)

Insinuate: Adam and Eve’s least favorite word (Johnny Hart)

Insist: Somewhere you REALLY don’t want to be (Jan Hyde)

Job Sharing : What your boss does. (Jan Hyde)

Justice: Only frozen water (Jan Hyde)

Karate School: Chopping Center (Stan Kegal)

Kleptomaniac: Applauds obsessively (Scot Nelson)

Koolah : Temperature change (Jan Hyde)

Kosher: When you can’t have cheese with your ham sandwich (Baumwald)

Lawsuit: Worn by lawyers (Jan Hyde)

Legend: The edge of a cliff (Art. Moger)

Lie Detector: Mouth trap (Stan Kegal)

Litigator: The act of setting fire to an amphibious reptile (Hershy)

Metallurgist: Someone who is allergic to iron. (Leo Roston)

Migration: A headache birds get when they fly down for the winter. (Richard Lederer)

Mirage a Trois: Act of having sex with two imaginary people. (Jill’s Joke List)

Misery: A collection of misers. (Leo Roston)

Molasses : Extra girls (Stan Kegel)

Nursery : Bawl room (Stan Kegel)

Occult: A young horse. (Keith Nance)

Organic: Church music (Stan Kegel)

Outpatient: One who fainted when a blood sample was obtained. (Stan Kegel)

Pasteurize : Something moving across your line of vision (Stan Kegel)

Perspire: How church builders calculate their construction costs (Ray Hand)

Philistine: What a German bartender does. (Robert E. Lewis)

Plumber: A drain surgeon (Leopold Fechtner)

Polarize: What penguins see with (Hershy)

Pregnancy: The shape of things to come (M. Rose Pierce)

Protuberance: Small insects that are fond of potatoes. (Gary Hallock)

Psalm: Less than many but more than none (Brandi Brandon)

Recluse : Second examination of the crime scene. (J. A. Mc)

Rectangle : The mess left after a bad accident. (J. A. Mc)

Relief : What trees do in the spring. (Gunther Saraf)

Sarcasm: Quip lash (The Pun Page)

Spokesman: A person who repairs bicycle wheels (Stan Kegel)

Stifle: A pen full of pigs (Stan Kegel)

Successfully: To completely suck up vile fluids. (Keith Jackson)

Tangent: A sunburned man. (Pierre Abbat)

Tennis: Five plus five (Kirk Miller)

Transvestite : Stalagmite that likes to hang around (Jan Hyde)

Trinket: What you do with a glass of water. (Jimmy Snibbler)

Quantities Many breasts (Jan Hyde)

Unabridged: A river you have to row or wade across (Jan Hyde)

Universe: A one stanza poem (Stan Kegel)

Uphill: Oral medication for adults (Stan Kegel)

Varicose: Not very far. (Jimmy Snibbler)

Vigilant : Insect Watchman (Jan Hyde)

Violin: Bad hotel. (Richard Lederer)

Warden: Strategy room in the Pentagon (Stan Kegel)

Weathercocks: Vain creatures (Stan Kegel)

Wedding Ring: A small tourniquet. It cuts off circulation (Stan Kegel)

Westinghouse: (see Hotel) (One Weird Dude)

Wholesome: That which you take the whole from and still have some left (One Weird Dude)

Winsome: An average basketball team (Stan Kegel)

Yule: Holly days (Stan Kegel)

Zebra: A large undergarment that’s an utter farce (Stan Kegel)

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on your income tax return