This article [Congregations offer welcoming tips] has really got me thinking.
Some of the points are quite helpful, I think but others are probably culturally conditioned and might well not work in your average Uniting Church, especially the small ones. I think Guyra (40 km north of Armidale) is a genuinely welcoming congregation and makes visitors feel wonderfully welcome, but in a building which seats 80 packed and with a regular attendance of 15-17, many of the suggestions are amusing (eg pew greeters) although they’d be great in a big congregation.
Guyra has morning tea in the vestry after every service (just as well the minister doesn’t want to use it to vest!) and everyone sits down to drink and eat. If you come more than twice, they’ll know whether you have tea or coffee and probably whether it’s with or without milk and sugar. New people will be asked their names, where they’re from, how long they’re around for and so on and they will receive at least one personal invitation to come through to morning tea. At morning tea, they *will* be included in the conversation, not just left to stand in a corner by themselves. They will also be asked for their opinions and offered the opportunity to take part in the decision making process of the congregation, most of which takes place over morning tea after church. They are growing slowly (three new adults and one child in the past twelve months, plus several fringe members now attending regularly) and it won’t be long before we’ll need to move morning tea into the hall because the vestry’s not big enough. The challenge, of course, is to get more people to attend Sunday worship in the first place, but once they arrive, Guyra does a good job of making them feel welcome.
Some of the ideas presented disturb me somwhat, though:
> – Nashville’s Belmont United Methodist Church has members from more than
> 36 different countries. That diversity is reflected in the church’s
> liturgy, anthems, calls to worship and other musical pieces. Members are
> invited to dress in their native attire.
Reflecting the diversity in the liturgy etc sounds great. Inviting people to dress in their native attire sounds condescending to me. Creating an atmosphere where everyone feels free to wear whatever is comfortable for them is great, but this feels like inviting people to be gawked at.
> Another church
> recommended people holding hands during the final hymn or chorus.
This one would lose me pretty quickly. I don’t like holding hands with strangers and there are some people I do know that I definitely, absolutely don’t want to have assume any right to touch me in any way (back to Greg’s question about guidelines for greeters) so giving them permission to hold my hand for a whole hymn turns me right off. I’m not sure what it would actually *achieve*, either.
Because of the way my mind works (no comments, thanks), however, this has sparked off an understanding of several significant reasons why I don’t like passing the peace in church. The obvious one is that it provides the opportunity for people to get far too touchy-feely for my liking. Another, though, is that it is a fairly meaningless exercise to wander around the church shaking hands and saying “peace be with you” “and with you”. Moving around the church finding out the name and one thing about someone you don’t know would have some value in creating community. Spending a little time finding out one thing that has happened during the last week in the lives of people you *do* know would also be of value in creating community but just exchanging a mechanical greeting which gives predators the opportunity to prey seems counter-productive to me. We had fun at the contemporary evening service on Sunday exchanging lollipops with other people and it created a good feeling in the service, without anyone needing to touch anyone else. Part of the good feeling was obviously the novelty value and if we did it every week it would become mechanical, too, but it was certainly (IMHO, anyway) worthwhile.
> – Make the sanctuary more comfortable. One church’s ushers seat families
> with children near the front, so the children can see what’s going on.
> Another church has removed the back few rows of pews and replaced them
> with rocking chairs for parents with children or older people who cannot
> sit in pews.
This is an interesting one. When I was the parent of small children, there were definitely times when it would have been better to have them up the back where other people couldn’t see what they were doing and where you could remove them if necessary without having to run the gauntlet of the whole congregation. There were other times when being down the front and able to see was a better place for them. And when Bruce and I were both involved in leading worship at the same time (eg when he was playing guitar and I was singing) I was never sure whether having them up the front where we could give them the evil eye or down the back where we couldn’t actually *see* what noxious things they were doing in an attempt to get parental attention back onto them was better or worse. Being minister’s children and therefore very comfortable in church, ours would have no hesitation in strolling up the front if they wanted a better look at things, and I’ve preached many a sermon with a toddler sitting on my hip (not necessarily mine). Maybe the best solution is having a place up the back with parents understanding that wandering up the front for a good look is perfectly acceptable behaviour. Which involves educating the congregation so that they don’t exude disapproval when a toddler decides s/he wants to find out what the minister’s view of the congregation is like and heads up the front of the church. And discouraging others from having such fun with wandering children that they become uncontrollable. Carrying a suitable small toy or board book in your handbag and offering it to restless small children is a very welcoming guesture, should you happen to carry a handbag in the first place). A new toy can keep a restless toddler occupied for quite some time.
What works for other congregations?
Judy
— “All it takes for evil to win is for good, decent folk to do nothing” – Fay White, paraphrasing Edmund Burke
Rev Judy Redman Uniting Church Chaplain University of New England Armidale 2351
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