4. RELATIONSHIPS

HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY AND ‘HOLINESS’ – RELATING TO GOD

Because pastors and leaders inevitably model how we should all be relating to God, they will set an example in living a life of love, practising private prayer, study of the Scriptures, and commitment to spiritual disciplines – including public worship.

In terms of Christian character, practical ‘holiness’ is manifested in the lives of persons who are genuine, nondefensive, flexible, who affirm diversity, are critically self-aware, trustworthy, altruistic, prudent, and above all practise love-as-compassion (entering the world of others without intruding on their privacy or manipulating their vulnerability). Love accepts another’s experience and helps the other to grasp the meaning of that experience, staying with them on the journey towards wholeness.

BALANCING CHRISTIAN MINISTRY WITH MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND FRIENDSHIPS

Pastors and leaders shall give special consideration to their spouse and family, giving them the quality time, love and consideration they need and without imposing undue expectations on them. The primary responsibility of pastors’/leaders’ spouses is as marital partner and parent to the children, and secondarily as church worker and assistant to the pastor.

SELF-CARE AND ‘CARE OF THE CARERS’

Pastors and other leaders shall take responsibility to maintain their physical, spiritual and emotional health; and to nurture personal relationships which assist them in their wholeness.

Physical health requires proper nutrition, adequate sleep, regular exercise, taking at least one day’s Sabbath each week (on that day nothing reminds us of our vocation!), and an annual vacation, and abstaining from the misuse of alcohol or other drugs.

Moral and mental health are enhanced by good friendships and good reading, and the disciplined avoidance of such ‘moral cancers’ as pornography on the Net, TV or movies.

A psychological danger for some pastors is the tendency to be totally consumed by a ‘ministerial role’. To subordinate our personhood to a professional role is unhealthy.

Spiritual health is nurtured by a regular discipline of reflective reading of Scripture and other devotional works, private and public prayer, and a commitment to other spiritual disciplines including spiritual direction.

RELATING TO OTHER LEADERS AND COLLEAGUES

Pastors and leaders shall respect the rights and responsibilities of others who share leadership in the Church. Those who have positions of authority over other pastors and staff shall exercise their power justly and in a clearly accountable manner. They shall also respect the professional expertise of members of other disciplines/professions with whom they work in the Church or other institutions.

Staff members (in multiple-staff teams) shall not aspire to succeed other persons on the staff. They shall be loyal to one another, and not encourage gossip about other staff members.

It is unethical to speak ill of the character or work of another pastor – especially a predecessor or successor. Pastors, counsellors and leaders shall refrain from gossip or slander that is false, degrading, defaming, invasive, or harmful to another’s reputation.

Former pastors shall not be involved in nominations for their successors’ nominating/call committee, nor the selection of a successor (whether pastor or interim ministry). Upon retirement from active ministry pastors shall give the pastor/s who succeed them loyal support, and not meddle in the affairs of any previous church/ pastorate. Pastors visiting socially with members of former congregations shall take care that professional matters do not intrude: they shall exercise great care to have no further influence on the former congregation by conversation, correspondence, or other actions.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHURCH COUNCILS

Pastors and other leaders shall respect the guidance and decisions of the councils of the church, and maintain accountability within the discipline of the church. Processes and decisions of church councils should be reported accurately and fairly.

When there is an actual or potential conflict of interest in matters affecting pastors/leaders, their family or their financial interests, they shall absent themselves at an appropriate time from discussion and decision.

RITES OF PASSAGE AND THE PASTORAL CARE IN TIMES OF TRANSITION

SPECIAL FRIENDSHIPS OR ‘PARTICULAR RELATIONSHIPS’

Because the pastoral relationship occurs in a deeply intimate community, friendships will develop. These will, at times, challenge the capacity of pastors and other leaders to provide the pastoral care that belongs to their role. They have a responsibility to distinguish times when objective pastoral care is required and to discern when their relationships overstep the appropriate level of friendship and intimacy, or when they are exercising power inappropriately in relation to others in the pastoral relationship. In other words they need to be careful about intimacies/friendships which may be construed as evidence of partiality. Such friendships may include a relationship which is becoming romanticised.

In some circumstances it will be appropriate for a pastor to cease a pastoral relationship in order to enter a particular relationship. In such an event the pastor shall:

a.. disengage from the pastoral relationship and arrange alternative pastoral care for the other person a.. seek advice on the appropriateness of such a particular relationship, preferably through supervision; a.. encourage the other person to talk with someone else about the relationship.

MISSION: LIVING LIVES OF JUSTICE, COMPASSION, HOSPITALITY, PEACE-MAKING, AND LOVING EVANGELISM

Pastors and other leaders should be committed to an evangelistic lifestyle, ‘preaching the Good News’ by word and actions, as Jesus has commissioned us. This will be done without manipulating converts, proselytising members of other churches, or demeaning other Christian traditions.

Christian communities are to be much more than comfortable social institutions where we meet friends and pay professional clergy to be our chaplains. If they do not have a prophetic role they are not essentially ‘Christian’. We must therefore be committed to providing teaching about the principles of justice-making – including (as Rev Dr Marie Fortune from the Center for Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, USA, puts it) ‘truth-telling, acknowledging violations, compassion, protecting the vulnerable, accountability, restitution and vindication.’

FINANCIAL ETHICS: GIFTS AND FEES.

Pastors and other leaders

a.. shall not use church funds, accounts and/or resources for personal or private advantage. Reimbursement for allowable professional expenses shall be accompanied by appropriate documentation. a.. shall be scrupulously honest in their private management of money and shall set an example by living within their means and paying their bills on time. a.. shall not seek financial gain for themselves or their families from a pastoral relationship beyond recognised fees, stipends and entitlements. They shall use discretion concerning the acceptance or return of gifts by considering the intent and affordability of the gift and whether there is a risk of being compromised or losing objectivity. Where pastors accept a gift to satisfy cultural traditions they should then look at the appropriate use of the gift to benefit the community of faith. a.. shall not normally accept fees or honoraria for weddings or funerals from church members. a.. if paid a full-time stipend shall not accept any other remunerative work without the expressed consent of the church There should be adequate security for the counting, storing and banking of moneys. At least two people should be involved when counting moneys.

No one in the church shall use their church membership to actively recruit clients for private practice or commercial interests.

The church shall make a responsible ethical decision in terms of the percentage of a pastor’s stipend package which is taxable versus reimbursement for expenses. The church shall operate within government guidelines in terms of audit and taxation laws.

THEOLOGICAL DIVERSITY, RACE AND GENDER ISSUES, AND BIOETHICAL ISSUES

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THE CARE OF THE EARTH

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