e.. COUNSELLING AND SEXUAL ETHICS Theologically, counselling is ‘Christian friendship’ – an experience of grace. Pastors and others who regularly counsel are encouraged to develop competence and skills in this area, by studying various counselling theories to discover a ‘counselling model’ that fits their understanding of the Faith and their personality; and to submit to regular peer review and/or supervision.

It is important that pastors and counsellors know the boundaries of their competence, and have good referral networks. Normally pastors will refer medical, financial and psychological matters to relevant experts.

Pastors as counsellors need to recognise situations when there are demands or temptations confronting them which challenge their integrity. For example when a counselling client is seductive, or acting out of a need to control, the pastor must develop skills to deal with the advances in a compassionate, caring but firm manner. Pastors would normally refer such persons to other skilled counsellors. Pastors must never take advantage of such situations to fulfil their own emotional needs.

It is rarely wise to counsel anyone in a context of absolute privacy – particularly members of the opposite sex, and/or those to whom the counsellor may be sexually attracted. When alone in an office or in visitation, another church member should be nearby, and counsellor and counsellee should be visible. It is important to recognise when a pastor/counsellor anticipates too keenly a prospective counselling or pastoral interview: there may be unhealthy or unwise motivations for such anticipation. If personal or sexual desires and issues invade a pastoral/counselling relationship, it is important to seek the advice of a supervisor or another professional counsellor. The clients in such situations should normally be referred to another counsellor/pastor.

Uninvited touching is usually an inappropriate expression of pastoral care. We cannot always control how physical touch will be received or interpreted by vulnerable people. The wisest counsel is ‘don’t’, unless in situations such as holding someone’s hand for prayer in a hospital-visit, or ‘laying on of hands’ with others for prayer.

We should become familiar with the dynamics of transference and counter-transference which can lead to the violation of emotional and sexual boundaries. Our needs for affection, intimacy, attraction and affirmation should be sought outside the pastoral relationship.

Teaching courses on counselling to parishioners (‘How to Help Your Friend’, ‘Listening Skills’ etc.) is consistent with a commitment to empowering fellow-Christians for their ministries. There will also be good Christian ‘self-help’ books in the church bookstall/library.

Some churches are appointing counsellors to their staff, or setting up adjunct counselling centres, and/or referring parishioners to outside Christian and other counsellors. If a church employs professional staff it is crucial they ‘mesh’ with the ethos and philosophy of the church.

If a counsellor is formally associated with a church or counselling service, agree on a written Job/Ministry Description. This will contain mutual expectations relating to legal considerations, ethics (e.g. code of ethics, confidentiality and professional boundaries: note that some clergy will feel threatened by a perceived loss of authority or access to parishioners’ ‘secrets’), and financial considerations (e.g. salary, donation-for-services philosophy, degree to which the counselling centre will be subsidised, professional indemnity insurance, etc.).

The first counselling session should make clear certain ‘covenantal’ expectations – like the time for each session (perhaps limit them to the customary 50-minute hour), financial considerations, a brief philosophy of counselling (e.g. some may need to be reminded that most healing miracles take time!) etc.

Prayer for counsellors/pastors and their counsellees is important – in a dedicated ‘Upper Room’, in worship services, pew sheets and church bulletins, email or telephone prayer-chains for emergencies, etc. However such ministries ought to be sensitive to people’s needs for privacy [see PRIVACY POLICY below].

CONFIDENTIALITY AND DISCLOSURE

Pastoral counsellors shall not breach confidentiality. Confidentiality is not about secrecy. In the context of a pastoral relationship, it is an assurance that pastors/counsellors will not share written or spoken information about an individual with other people [except as indicated below], or use it for a purpose other than for which it was collected.

No one else should have access to confidential matters raised in counselling, without the permission of the counsellee. Occasionally such may be sought, for example, if the client’s suitability for a staffing position in the church is dependent upon such matters (and then only give a general recommendation, without disclosing any details. Such screening is increasingly being done by an ‘outside’ body).

Those who preach are encouraged not to disclose information or stories from private counselling, except with the counsellees’ consent. Even then, sometimes it is inappropriate to include such information, in deference both to relatives of the client who may recognise the person/s involved, or because some people relish prurient information about themselves being broadcast, or, perhaps more importantly, it may discourage sensitive people from seeking help, because they fear inappropriate disclosure about themselves.

Pastors and pastoral counsellors shall take care to discuss the nature and limits of their confidentiality with the parishioner/client. Offices in which counselling takes place should be properly soundproofed, records kept securely, and staff members informed of their duty in matters of confidentiality.

Information received in the context of a pastoral relationship shall remain confidential unless:

a.. the person gives permission – usually written – for the particular disclosure; or a.. retaining such information would result in significant physical, emotional or sexual harm to another person or persons – especially children, the elderly or the disabled; or a.. disclosure is required by law; or is necessary to prevent financial loss to some other person due to fraud or other dishonesty or where undue hardship might result (as stated in the Privacy Acts and other government legislation); or a.. appropriate disclosure is helpful in the context of spiritual direction or supervision; or a.. disclosure is required in accordance with the terms of placement/employment applicable in a particular appointment, or by a legitimate government agency, or a.. the information is requested by a bona fide statistician or researcher. This may only be given if anonymity is protected, or

a.. the information is required by a legitimate audience such as a Church Council in closed session. Confidentiality also requires that pastors/ pastoral counsellors shall not seek to gain sensitive or confidential information to which they are not entitled or which would require another person to breach a confidence.

In some cases, a person coming for pastoral counselling may not wish others to know of the event; such requests would normally be respected.

Confidentiality is of utmost importance in dealing with an allegation of sexual misconduct. Again, it is not about keeping the incident secret, but it is about ensuring that only those people “who need to know” know. Confidentiality is about protecting the rights and interests of ALL parties.

SEXUAL ETHICS AND SEXUAL ABUSE

The church is, in reality, a ‘family’. So pastors and other leaders must relate to other members of the church as they would act within a family (1 Timothy 5:1,2). Thus any illicit, erotic or compromising sexual behaviour between pastor/leader and members of the congregation is incestuous. It affects the very foundation of the congregation. Just as a biological family becomes dysfunctional when a parent enters into a sexual relationship with the children or when siblings engage in sexual acts among themselves, so too does the church-as-family become dysfunctional when sexual boundaries are not strictly respected.

The Baptist Union of Victoria has in place comprehensive policies, procedures and guidelines for

dealing with allegations of sexual misconduct. These documents include: [???]

As a community of faith we are committed to providing a safe place in our churches where people can be vulnerable without fearing that sexual boundaries will be violated. Appropriate Vision and Value Statements shall reflect this emphasis.

Abuse can take many, often subtle, forms. Sexual misconduct is not the only type of abuse. Pastors and others in positions of power bear the greater burden of responsibility for maintaining appropriate sexual boundaries.

Sexual misconduct includes

(a) sexual harassment: any unwelcome sexual advance, or unwelcome request for sexual favours, or engagement in other unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature in relation to that person, in circumstances in which a reasonable person, having regard to all the circumstances, would have anticipated the person complaining would be offended, humiliated or intimidated. Such contact may include expressions of inappropriate ‘affection’ such as unwelcome kissing, touching, bumping or patting;

(b) sexual assault: any unwelcome sexual behaviour that may occur along a continuum from verbal insult to sexual intercourse, that makes a person feel threatened or afraid;

(c) sexual conduct prohibited by criminal law; or

(d) sexualisation of a professional relationship: any interaction, consensual or otherwise, in which pastor/leader/staff member or voluntary worker engages in sexualised behaviour with or towards a person with whom he or she is in a professional relationship. This may include, but is not limited to, all forms of overt or covert seductive speech or gestures, inappropriate questioning about another’s sexual history, as well as physical contact that sexually abuses, exploits or harasses another person. Pastors and other leaders shall not only avoid initiating sexual behaviour, but must refuse it even when the other person invites or consents to it.

Churches are encouraged to provide training for all pastors and leaders about providing a safe, abuse-free working environment; being aware of their legal responsibilities; encouraging staff to report any inappropriate or illegal behaviour; encouraging and promoting the use of legal process when appropriate. We must also provide training for staff and support for clients in the areas of cultural sensitivities, boundary-setting, and current policies and support services.

In responding to a complaint of sexual misconduct the Church should endeavour to ensure that it does not interfere with due legal process. This includes ensuring that any investigation does not interfere with criminal investigations and due consideration is made of the relevant State Crimes Act, the Commonwealth Criminal Code, State Care and Protection Legislation and anti-discrimination legislation Advice on such requirements can be sought from statutory bodies, police, or [BUV legal advisors].

Every complaint of sexual misconduct is to be taken seriously. The Complainant, the Respondent and the person appointed by the BUV Complaints Committee must be treated with dignity. Confidentiality shall be maintained at all times. If the complaint involves someone under the age of consent the police or the appropriate child protection agency shall be contacted. If the complaint involves behaviour of a criminal nature (e.g. sexual offences committed without consent), the Complainant should be encouraged to contact the police.

Complaints shall be dealt with as expeditiously as possible. The Complainant shall be assisted to put the complaint in writing. The Respondent shall be informed of the details of the complaint in a manner which enables the Respondent to respond. The Complainant and the Respondent each shall be offered an Adviser arranged by the [BUVAgency] as soon as possible after the complaint is made. The BUV Complaints Committee shall investigate the complaint providing both the

Complainant and the Respondent with opportunity to be heard. It shall then determine

the appropriate action to be taken, taking into consideration the views of the Complainant, Respondent, and the values and responsibilities of the Agency and of the Church.

An appropriate pastoral strategy (including healing liturgies) shall be developed for the Complainant, congregation and staff person/voluntary worker as required.

CHILD ABUSE

Child Abuse is a criminal offence which the Church takes seriously. Allegations of sexual abuse or misconduct involving a child under the age of consent should be reported to the Child Care and Protection Agency [Name of relevant Victorian Department and phone number].

Victoria has had mandatory reporting in place since 1993. It mandates medical practitioners, registered nurses, police and teachers to report if they form a belief that there is child abuse. “Belief” is less than “proof” but more than “suspicion”. Pastors and youth leaders are not currently mandated to report (though this may change in the near future), but a strong moral argument exists for them to do so (as anyone can). Presumably if a clergyperson is teaching in a school, they’d be mandated, but in their teaching role, not their clergy role.

The homosexual and heterosexual age of consent for Victoria from 1 June 1997 is 16 years.

Anyone investigated for claims of child sexual abuse will have to stand down from local church leadership positions until a BUV authority / Professional Standards Committee proves or disproves the allegations The church board must reinstate and reaffirm as a member in regular standing an individual cleared by an authority or the committee. However, it must also censure for one (?) year or remove from membership an individual not cleared.

Individuals not cleared cannot hold any position of responsibility while under censure, and cannot ever again hold any church office or position of responsibility that places them in contact with children or young adults.

SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Spiritual and emotional abuse occurs when a group and its leader/s attempt to exercise undue control over a person and make decisions for them which adults normally make for themselves, thereby fostering co-dependent allegiances and behaviours. People’s boundaries are invaded, and the Scriptures are ‘twisted’ to back up the leaders’ assertions or ideas. Such churches/ groups tend to tell their people:

a.. how to conduct their personal lives b.. all other groups are heretical c.. God is with our group only (and to leave this group is to forsake God)

d.. children have to be schooled privately so as not to be contaminated by ‘the world’ or ‘other churches’ Our response to victims/survivors of such sects or cults is to offer unconditional grace and acceptance – usually over a long period of time.