Dilberted
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived
from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.
“I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth
time this week.”

Link Rot
The process by which links on a web page became
obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change location or die.

Chip Jewelry
A euphemism for old computers destined to be
scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand
for that Mac SE, and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry."

Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.
"I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin’ crapplet!"

Plug-and-Play
A new hire who doesn’t need any training.
"The new guy, John, is great. He’s totally plug-and-play."

World Wide Wait
The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the
social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction
triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I
just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of
Dorito Syndrome."

Under Mouse Arrest
Getting busted for violating an online
service’s rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL
put me under mouse arrest."

Glazing
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A
popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn’t
he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"

404
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web message
"404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you’ve tried
to access can’t be located. "Don’t bother asking him…he’s 404,
man."

Dead Tree Edition
The paper version of a publication available
in both paper and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition
of the San Francisco Chronicle…"

Egosurfing
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or
research papers looking for the mention of your name.

Graybar Land
The place you go while you’re staring at a
computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the
gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what
seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."

Open-Collar Workers
People who work at home or telecommute.

Squirt The Bird
To transmit a signal up to a satellite.
"Crew and talent are ready…what time do we squirt the bird?"

Brain Fart
A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information
effortlessly. A burst of useful information. "I know you’re busy on
the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik
bust?" Variation of old hackerslang that had more negative
connotations.

Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on
computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This
one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."

Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
Used among microserfs to
describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM.

Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically-proficient
person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek
around here."

Adminisphere
The rarified organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed to solve.

Tourists
People who are taking training classes just to get a
vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in
the class; the rest were tourists."

Blowing Your Buffer
Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when
the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or
has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed.
"Darn, I just blew my buffer!"

Gray Matter
Older, experienced business people hired by young
entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.

Bookmark
To take note of a person for future reference (a
metaphor borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after
seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."

Nyetscape
Nickname for AOL’s less-than-full-featured Web
browser.

Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when
their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by
physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in
mid-sentence.